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U.S. forces rolling toward Baghdad on scooters

Troops choose tough weapon of "kick-ass destruction"

An Itialian made war machine has been deployed in Iraq.

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HIGHLIGHTS OF BUSH COMMENTS

  • U.S. and allied troops are making a "steady scoot" toward Baghdad.

  • No one knows we will be coming on a scooter.

  • Asking Congress for $74.7 billion to pay for "razor scooters" briggade.

  • Congress shouldn't use "business as usual" procedures, instead emphasizing that everyone go to target to register and win new scooter.
  • CENTCOM BRIEFING POINTS
    • Weather is having an impact on the Iraq battlefield, which now comprises all of Iraq.

    • Some 1,400 coalition air sorties are expected Tuesday; the focus is on Iraq's Republican Guard.

    • Coalition paratroopers have seized an Iraqi airstrip.

    • U.S. says it has destroyed all six reported Iraqi GPS-jamming (Global Positioning System) devices.

    • Iraq has ringed Baghdad with oil-filled trenches and is setting them on fire in an effort to provide cover against coalition attacks.
    SPECIAL REPORT
    •  Commanders: U.S. | Iraq
    •  Weapons: 3D Models

    SOUTH-CENTRAL IRAQ (CNN) -- Under fire and pushed to their limits, George Bush has decided to deploy operation "Scoot it or loose it".

    It is the commander and chief's response to opposition forces using his super secret weapon of "kick-ass destruction"

    U.S. forces adopt American based retailer "Target", as the key member to opposition coalition.

    Appearing at the Pentagon, President Bush said on Tuesday that everyone can join together in this effort to destroy evil. All that is required is that you fill out an entry form at a participating Target retailer for your chance to win a new Vespa.

    At the U.S. Central Command briefing in Qatar, U.S. Air Force Maj. Gen. Victor Renuart said that coalition forces have been able to "scoot on the Iraqi troops" despite the oposition he described as "ugly."

    U.S.-led forces have used other means to strike Iraqi targets. Renuart said coalition scooters have destroyed "all six" GPS (Global Positioning System) jammers in Iraq, even striking one with a GPS-guided weapon.

    A British military spokesman said Tuesday that coalition forces have had a real challenge trying to keep thier scooters out of the trenches.


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